grass pasture

grass pasture
Honor & majesty are before Him; Strength & beauty are in His sanctuary. {Psalm 96:6}

Friday, July 16, 2010

The Long Night

Only 2 weeks and 2 days til' I head back up to Fred!!!!!!! Well, one day actually since it is almost twelve. I'm super excited for this new semester coming up. I know there will be many changes. I'm not gonna be an intern anymore, but a core group leader. DUN, DUN, DUN! A core group leader! Haha, but I am truly SUPER SUPER excited and really giddy. I feel like God is going to help me "grow a backbone." I am big on showing mercy to others, but I am hesitate a lot of the time to correct in love. Not that I've never corrected somebody in love. My heart is not big enough to do it all the time in love. Only His heart is big enough. :) So I am looking forward to learning from my Abba & from my sisters & brothers in Christ to help. Yes, it is uncomfortable to die to myself, but it gots to happen! So let the trials come & may I cling to my Lord in the midst!!
This summer is soon over and I'd say spiritually it was a hot, hot desert. I left the internship in the wilderness and I'm still in it. Still running into me & seeing stuff I don't like. Apathy & laziness & a spirit of slumber are the main ones I'm struggling with. God is gently, but firmly speaking to me throughout this time. A lot of the time I feel so weak. I don't really like it, hahaha, but that's when His strength is evident. He really does chase me with His affection in every season of my life. I am so grateful to my God. He is so good. :)
So that is where I am now with the Lord. Just crying out for intimacy. And really...to just feel hungry again. To enter into grace to set myself before His face & receive from the Holy Spirit. I'm learning more & more that I am not just living for my relationship with God, but the people He wants to touch through me. Knowing that He has planned for me to be a leader in the next internship really puts into perspective, the ones I am to shepherd the next 4 months. He's gonna use me to mold them into His image through the Holy Spirit. I'm really excited! It's gonna be SO worth it!

If anyone reads this..which I am not sure if anyone does..pray for me & the new interns & the leaders. It would mean a lot <3
Blesssings,
Eva